waiting

I hate waiting. I would guess that most people feel the same as I do about this topic. Waiting in lines, waiting on people, waiting at bars alone, waiting for something to come in the mail and waiting for things to change. That last one is a bit weird cause you really shouldn’t wait for change, you should make change. However part of making change is wrapping up things that you have committed to. Right now I am waiting for the next few months. My lease ends at the end of June and I am making a huge jump by leaving the country I grew up in and move back to the country of my birth. I am having a difficult time waiting for this to happen. I want to just quit my job, pack my stuff and get on the next flight available. I want to leave everything behind for this adventure, this change, this next chapter of my life.

My family is still giving me grief about this decision to go and their comments are making me feel bad. I was thinking for a long time that this was a bad thing but it’s actually helping me. It’s allowing me to put more thought into what I actually need to to and what I need to prepare myself for when I arrive. They seem to have this notion that this is one big vacation for me and I really don’t feel this is the case. When I moved to Florida without any notice, I realized real quick that it is actually a ton of hard work. Making new friendships, finding work, finding a home and starting a life over again. I do feel that I will miss my father the most. he has been my friend and mentor for many years and I have always enjoyed having him near me.

My friends on the other hand have been super supportive and I am very thankful for these people in my life. They have shared their warm feelings and a small amount of sadness for my leaving. I will do whatever I can to maintain these relationships form a far via online communications and video calling.

I need a distraction from this day to day action. I need to wipe my brain clean and fill it with new and exciting experiences that I have not had. The next 70+ days will be a true test of my ability of how I can handle patients and friendship. I think filling my time with the people that are most important to me will be good, a way of saying “See you later, my friend!”

In the end, that moment just before I get on the plane for new everything. I will have a moment where I ask myself: “That went way too fast.”