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what I look for in a girlfriend

Everyone has their own wants and needs when it comes to what they are looking for in a girlfriend, mine are no different. I have had my share of relationships, good and bad and in the end I think the best trait to have over all is balance.

Balance

Like many things in the world, balance is key. We can’t have all sunshine and rainbows all the time, we wouldn’t appreciate all the glory that it holds. I first noticed this when I lived in Florida. When I moved there I would think to myself “This is going to be amazing, sunshine all the time. Warm weather all the time”. Having previously lived in Minnesota for fourteen years I was thinking this was all anyone ever needed. I was so wrong. At first it was amazing! Beach every chance I could get and windows down every time I was in the car, total heaven. Then came the having to run around and get things done in the blazing heat. This sparked me to start using air conditioning at home and in the car. It eventually got to the point where I preferred being inside with the AC than outside with the sunshine. Can you see where I’m going with this?

Compromise

As much as I would love to have it all my way all of the time, that’s not realistic, and it would probably get boring eventually. Being able to find the best way to do the stuff you both like, without it becoming a problem of course, has worked the best for me. If your partner tells you about something they are interested in seeing or doing, get excited about doing it, even if you are not.

You might be scratching your head about this but it does make sense. When you show excitement about the things your partner does or wants to do it fuels the fire that this person has for you. Thus creating a stronger bond and more acceptance of what you are interested in. When you meet the request with negativity like “I don’t really want to do that.” or “That doesn’t sound like fun.” It leaves the person frustrated and left belittled in most cases. So remember to compromise and return your genuine excitement for their excitement.

I’m sure some of you may be thinking, “What if I really don’t want to do what my partner is requesting?” I’d say nine times out of ten if I grin and bare it then it ends up being a awesome experience because I got to spend time with my partner and that’s what this is all about, right?

Drive

My partner needs to have drive. They need to have something that gets them excited, something that makes them what to build, create, progress, shape, motivate and breathe life into. This does not need to be art or a trade, however it can be a hobby or an activity that makes them happy. I feel this because I have passions that I enjoy and I would like to perpetuate these traits in my children. Also I feel people with passion and drive are humans I enjoy being around

Smart

My partner needs to be smart, either book smart, worldly smart or both but holding a quick-witted intelligence none the less. I value intelligence and it is important to be aware of everything around you and retain some of that knowledge. There is nothing more unattractive than when someone who knows nothing about a topic pretends to so they can be included in the conversation. There is nothing wrong with simply saying, “I don’t know about this topic, I will have to look in to it later.” You don’t have to know everything, not everyone can. However you have to be willing and attempt to learn.

Hard Working

Someone with the proper attitude of rolling up their sleeves literally or metaphorically and getting things done. Someone who works with energy and commitment in their everyday work as well as their relationship. I would like a partner that wants to grow together, to challenge each other to become better people and raise better humans.

Happy

Being happy is awesome, why would anyone want to spend all or most of their time with someone who was the exact opposite of that? We all have ups and downs but a general positive attitude makes everything in life better.

 

In the end these are just requests, traits I would prefer in a partner. I want someone that will enable these traits in me because this is who I am deep down. People always say they want “a partner in crime!” this is so true, I want someone to be totally silly with as we take over the world hand in hand while singing “Call Me Maybe” all the while on snowboards or on the beach somewhere.

Categories: dating, general

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