letting go and moving on

Traditionally the best way to let go of resentment or anger and move on are quite simple. I have tried many of the following things people are suggested to do in order to let go. I have stopped blaming others. I have made the decision to move on. I talk through my feelings and pain. I focus on the here and now (not always but I try). However there is one thing that I have not been able to do, to forgive. Seems like this might be a huge part of my personal struggle and why I might not be able to totally let go and move on.

I generally give everyone trust to begin with. I put myself out there, I allow them to show me who they are and we evolve from there. If you break my trust in any way shape or form, I will cut you so fast from my life without any second thought you will be left festering for days. This is probably my defense mechanism I use to cope with issues.

In the past I have had many friends or relationships that have ended in this very way. We become friends and everything goes well, there might be a little conflict however if anything big happens then BOOM I cut all ties with them and drop them like a bad habit. I am an open and honest person, I will tell anyone anything. I feel communication is extremely important in order to have a successful relationship, whether it is friends or life partners. Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating either. Communication is made up of two parts in my mind, one is a being able to express or communicate your thoughts and feelings regardless of whether they are good or bad. The other is being able to listen to others thoughts and almost take them on as you own and if asked offer constructive criticism to help both parties progress.

But how do you forgive? How do you just let someone know you no longer care how they hurt you, how they helped contribute to negativity that has hurt others. I totally feel like when you forgive someone you are essentially tell them “Oh no don’t worry about the horrible thing you did, it doesn’t matter and it didn’t really affect me in any way shape or form!”. I have a very difficult time with this concept and I wonder to people do this.

Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating  –  UNKNOWN