eleven days

My emotions are on high alert right now, I am hypersensitive to everything and it’s starting to leak out of my head. I think people are starting to notice that I am actually scared about this and that I might have doubts. My heart hurts, palms are moist and my list of things that need to get finished before I jump is getting longer and not shorter as I thought it would. The song constantly playing on every device around me is “Say Something” by A great big world. Not really sure why this is my anthem for this time about my life, for the jump, for the feelings. The lyrics: “Say something, I’m giving up on you!” makes me feel like I am giving up on everything in this current life for the unknown, for the adventure, for the chase and  for the escape. Eleven days left, eleven days to see and do everything that I will miss and long for, eleven days to love everyone and everything I can before I walk away.

I am sure that I am just blowing this all out of proportion and that everything will be okay, everything will be fine, everything will not “be gone” as I have been thinking it will be. I don’t want to lose the connections I have, the friends I have made and the relationships I have grown with. I hope that there people, these humans, these friends will reach out to me and keep that bond.

Tomorrow starts the last ten days of this countdown. I will be featuring a different place in Minnesota that I hold in my heart. These are in no specific order they just are what they are.

  • Michael Anschel

    You are definitely not giving up on anything. Quite the opposite. You are bravely opening the door and going outside for a stroll.
    That nervous list making means you want to do this. If you weren’t nervous you wouldn’t really be excited about this adventure.
    If it is any help, you will bring too much and you will forget something. If you can get comfortable with that, you’ll be able to relax a bit. Passport, credit card, cash, pair of clean underwear, phone. .. you’ll be fine.